Anyone who knows me well knows that women's body image is one of my most passionate subjects. I guess you become (or have to already be) pretty passionate about a topic when you write a 25pg undergraduate thesis on it. That being said, clearly if I wrote 25pgs on it, this post doesn't even begin to cover the depth of this subject. I've read many studies and other research on the subject and consider myself to be decently informed. There are so many factors that go into shaping a women's body image, but some play more stronger than others. So my point with this post is to address something I see way too often with young mothers my age, and younger. Being on an Army post there are many (very) young mothers, some planned to be, others didn't. Some are great mothers, others are clearly struggling. Obviously I'm not a mother, and I've been told countless times that I know nothing about raising children because of this. Usually I agree and move on, it's easier for everyone, but there's one issue I just cannot get past; the way we (society) teach our young girls to value themselves.
We here in the USA put a great emphasis on how a women looks, and we're training our daughters from an extremely young age that how they look is what is most important. Now there's nothing wrong with telling girls they're pretty/beautiful, in fact it should be done often to boost self esteem. However, telling them they're smart/talented/caring/compassionate should be done just as often. This is where I feel we were failing our girls.
Just a couple examples that have recently bothered me:
My biggest pet peeve related to this is when women affectionately call their babies/toddlers/children "divas". I see this all the time on social media and in everyday life. "My little girl is growing up to be such a diva! :)" Why in the world would anyone TRY to raise their daughter to become a diva!? That's like saying "I hope my daughter grows up to be a bitch". Doesn't sound cute when you put it that way now does it?
Recently I walked into a swimming pool locker room full of 6-8 year old girls, there for a birthday party. When I overhead still shocks and boggles my mind. They were talking about how they needed to start dieting. SIX YEAR OLDS! Although children are exposed to a vast array of media sources that influence them, they are still most influenced by their families, mostly by their mothers. If a mother is constantly talking about how much weight she has to lose, or even worse constantly talking about how the child needs to lose weight, it negatively effects the child. Sometimes I don't think mothers realize quite how much their young are truly influenced by everything they do.
I honestly wish the media would stop putting such an emphasis on what size a woman is, or her hair, makeup, ect, but that will not happen if we as citizens don't change our values first. We need to stop talking about how much weight our friends have gained, stop talking about how bad someone's haircut is, stop making fun of people for their choices in clothing, this is the only way to begin to change the world our young girls are soon to face. I personally want my daughters (If I have them) to grow up believing that they can be anything they want, without being ridiculed or bullied for it. That they will be their intelligence, compassion, work ethic, and creativeness, instead of what clothes they decide to wear. I want my children to grow up without being afraid to be uniquely themselves. I want them to grow up with not just a positive body image, but one that they rarely think about because they know so many other things are so much more important.
(ps I know young boys can also suffer from body dysmorphia and body image issues, this post talks about young girls because it is more prevalent in that group)
My friend's wife also wrote a fantastic blog on this subject, hers also includes tips on how to raise your kids with a positive body image. Check it out here:
Paige Stannard
